Down the lane!

It is raining outside, the curtains are drawn, but the waterlogged breeze still found its way to sneak inside. The baby rays of sunshine fall on his newly trimmed hair. He is looking for her hands amidst the crumpled blanket.

His soft lips stretched into a smile whilst his eyes light up like a Christmas tree not less than any sunshine as he watched her curling up on a pillow; wondering what good he has done life to deserve someone as precise as her. Someone who is more interested in talking from pineapple on pizza to priests abuse in Pennsylvania.

And, she rose from a heavy slumber. He ran his fingers through her brownish curls.

He: Remember Rabbit, the time when we had our first kiss?

I lean in. You followed along.

Inches drawing us apart. You smiled and I smiled too.

Then even more close, we are probably centimeters apart.

Butterflies were dancing in my tummy, heartbeats were furious, palms were sweaty, blood rushing to your cheeks retaliated that pinkish feel as the little cherry at the top of my definite imagination.

The universe inside my head was about to explode. You were quivering like a 102-degree fever patient. My hands were wrapped around your waist while yours were around my neck.


And then…

He: Oye, you are not listening na?

With the half-opened eyes, she said yes.

He: Rabbit??

She: Yaaaaassssss

He: Acha, tell me, how many words have you heard?

She: Not even one.

He chuckled at her honesty.

He: Who taught you this art of not listening to anything yet still nodding head, madam?

She: Oye hello, I was an engineering student. A series of absolutely boring professors made me proficient in it. *wink*

They too began to titter and soon the ripples of laughter became the great waves of hilarity. He leaned close and gave a soft peck on her forehead.

She sits on the bed by tying up her hair with a yawning tone.

She: Sooooo, you were talking about that day you forgot to put your deodorant, came up in a bad pair of clothes, looking awkward and of course, in a dilemma who is going to break the ice? Haaa…is that it?

He drives a pillow on her face with an evil grin.

He: How come you even born with a zero romance in your blood, nincompoop? I wonder what spell you have used and married me. Just get lost.”

She: “don’t you dare to say that, Mr. Muttonhead? I will kill you.” Forgot the texts we exchanged the same night that it’s a memory we both would cherish until hell freezes over. The eyebrows shrank and voice became low. You are ruining out our core memory.

He: What? No no no. I am not your “Sadness” who contributes to it. I would never do that.

She just nodded her head that it’s okay.

He: Can I get that terrible laugh now? That laugh for which even aliens would get scared. But, being a kind-hearted one, I am tolerating for two years now?

She punched him lightly.

He: Oh my god. You could be a murderer. And why was it so special? Enlighten me, please.

She embraced her legs tightly as that adrenaline rush kicked in.

You know, our eyes closed. I had a huge hormonal imbalance when you held me by the waist. My body takes over to work in cohesion in an attempt to live, breath and vividly remember the seconds as they pass. I was unsure where my palms should stay. Our hearts were pounding as we knew what was up in the line. Bodies were melting in each other’s arms.

Just do it….just get it over with…. millions of different thoughts were rushing in my head. In one feeble attempt to finally end my misery, you leaned in, our soft lips touched. A sudden adrenaline race going up my spine. A moment so intimate, so sloppy, so infinite has happened to cherish for years to come.

Our eyes were still closed. Still living and committed to making this memory. With the smell of spring and fresh grass and damp earth and the sound of the peepers in the silence, I thought I would die of happiness at that moment.

It was the perfect moment frozen in my brain and I can still see it now as clearly as you were here right in front of me. That night, that moment was just invinc…

Like this?

She: Yes, but we brushed that day 

WHY I LOVE WRITING

Ever since I was a little girl, I always had a penchant for words probably because my father was an avid reader. Yet I never ventured to pen down something because I was aware that my English was appalling. But there was this remarkable juncture of my life where my emotions were all out of whack and the darkness of the twilight sneaked in. I just grabbed the notebook next to my couch and scribbled, scratched until I could no longer see an empty space on that white paper.

Ladies and lords, trust me, that was the very exact moment where I found contentment. I just started writing with frail grammatical skills as I just discovered an escape
where I’m not alone
where I’m not afraid to open up
where I can make the best of friends with fictitious people
where I can sense the new beginnings
where I make beautiful memories
where I laugh, cry, grin, and smile.

Now, I write because I’m more real with myself as I dig deep into the heart and find out what is happening there. I write to understand and to be understood. I write to give a voice to my content through words. I write because I’m the creator. I could take you with me to sundry worlds albeit you and I have never encountered. I write because I love seeing my imaginations take shape and hang together all of a piece just as a sculptor views after materializing something magically from the end.

I write because I can’t imagine not doing so now. Because in writing, I turn out to be a little bit more of myself! 💞

WHERE WERE YOU?

My cocoon wrapped in the finest cotton
Counting the days to become a butterfly
Nurturing myself to be bold, free, and soar
Embracing the Tinkerbell in the nightstand
With a will to saturate colour in the colourless lives
To inculcate hopes in the dormant souls
To live the life as I wish to be
until


You lured yourself into my cocoon
That was the exact moment
My integrity was stripped off
And I still recall
The way you sucked my blooming breasts
Breached the veins of my innocence
I sought to scream, I sought to cry
But I was gulped by this poison
Which made my cocoon worthless,
colourless, and
lifeless.
For every toxin inoculated into my nerves
I searched for the god I have prayed
Where were you?
When I sprinkled out a tear of help
Where were you?
When my cocoon was being slaughtered
Where were you?
When my elder sister pleaded that she has no legs
Imprisoned in these massive chains
Being abused by the different predators
Oh sorry, hang on!
Sexually abused by your bakhts
When children are supposed to play with toys
You made my bleeding vagina as their plaything
One after another, one after another, one after another
till
There was no light in the tunnel
There was no strength to defend my nest
There was no remedy to bring a life to my helpless body
Oh, my mighty saviour,
I never aspire to reach out to heaven
As you couldn’t stop it in your presence,
I wonder, how can you stop anywhere else
Even though I was taught that God is everywhere.
Do you see now, just how wrong were you?
In creating a penis and vagina
And burning the lives to ashes.

THIS ISN’T THE END!

We all have certain moments in life when we choose the option “that’s it.” We sense our intact world has been splintered out. We can’t perceive a tinge of orange while we are inundating in the deep blue sea and we cling to the point that we are just nothing but a flesh and blood. We imprint ourselves as “failures” but dear, you’re not a failure until you give up. This isn’t the end.

No matter how philosophical it sound, failures are the builders of success. Every champion must have tasted the bitterness of failure at one or the other time in life. Failure isn’t the end of the road. It’s just another wrong way. Closely review your mistakes and step forward. Try to stabilize what your strengths are and cultivate those instead of centring on your weaknesses. All you need is the courage and patience. But don’t be alarmed that you would make mistakes again, that’s the only way to learn what’s correct and what’s wrong.

We are sentencing that a girl has become a twinkler by just a wink. But ever questioned ourselves, how much she had struggled to endure in front of that camera? Dear, Rome isn’t built in a day. One of the life’s greatest teachers is failures. Many times, we don’t even fail. We just choose the wrong fields and it’s must to analyse why you have failed.

“Failures teach us not to stop trying, not to stop living. “

It happens. While deep down you were aware of your potential but the outcome wasn’t a true reflection of your hard work. A disaster in the business which you assumed would draw you thousands of bucks, the foible in an exam you never even conceived, heartbreak from a person who you presumed to grow old together. Here, most of us consume our brain with self-doubt whether we are adroit enough to pursue our aspirations or not. It is that moment we stop believing in ourselves and eventually our dreams become unattainable. People may deliver many motivational speeches, naive like me may write endless articles, gentlemen write hundreds of books, your friends may state that you’re the next Arjith Singh, Einstein, or Arundhati Roy. But everything is miserable if you can’t control your little voice inside your head. The second you can control those demons will be the second you can control your destiny.

If you’re feeling exhausted give yourself an excuse to make peace with the fact we cannot alter the deficiencies and consequently you can decide yourself how to redeem. Failure is one of the many hurdles we all have to surpass and there is always enough number of possibilities to learn and rise above failure. Breakdown again, cleanse yourselves and walk forward.

Mental Health? Mehh!

I can still recall the spear crushing in my hand, the bones crumpled by the pressure, and the pain seared through my skin. Once the happiest memories were the soul torturer now. I couldn’t dodge or hide from them, I just need to endure them. They were the worst kind of monster. I had experienced the pain before but nothing amounted to this. I pulled my knees to the chest and wrapped arms around the shins, my eyes were already puffy, I squeezed them to let more tears out and buried my head in between the knees as no matter what I do, I couldn’t hibernate from the thoughts in my head.

 

34? A fatty aggressive nurse shouted at the top of her voice.

It’s me. I stepped into my shoes and followed her. The room is saturated with so-called motivational posters, the walls are simply cream no fuss, just cream, there are some flowers, rawhide chairs, and soft music. The psychiatrist was a fair man in his mid 40’s and greedy I must say. He started showering hell lot of questions and I was delivering one-word answers by minimalistic expressions throughout the session. Most of the time he glanced at his paperwork, scribbling something, then occasionally glance up at me with a comment or another question. At last, he concluded that I have “somatization disorder” which is a kind of mental illness. I was startled as I was sure that I know where I stand between sadness and depression. I told him that I’m healthy enough mentally.

He just laughed at me and said, that’s the thing here we never perceive that we passed into such phase, you are lying to yourself. See, when you’re not feeling well physically you explain to others and when you’re not feeling mentally well you should say to others. Mental sickness isn’t something to be ashamed of. It’s way more than what you see and how it’s being portrayed across the globe by media. I don’t know exactly but there could be unrealistic academics, society expectations, or your personal things as this happens to almost everyone. Now, think about all this and come back to me when you’re ready to share your things.

There I was bewildered. How he knew that I kept everything to myself as I presumed that people might pretend that I’m just craving for attention. I went again and shared my heart out and then I was so delighted. At that moment, I realized that majority of the world’s problems will reduce when one listens rather than lectures. There is a major misconception about mental illness. Many assume that these people are just lazy or making it up. No, most of the people don’t know that they are attacked by it. That’s what happens in the world around now. If a child is behaving oddly, every other one scolds him for the way he is but no one wants to know why he’s behaving in such manner. No one wants to talk about it as it’s not kind of scar which is visible and people may mock at them. This makes the things worse. You need not hibernate it behind silence and shame. Never be scared to talk about it. There comes a time we all need someone, we all need an ear to listen, a shoulder to lean and a soul to depend upon. If you or anyone you know is experiencing any mental health-related issue, make some and talk to them. Lack of awareness about mental illness is not just one’s problem, its the problem of our community and it can be cured.

If you’re looking for a person to share your problems, I’m all ears. No, I’m not any psychology student but I do have my count where I helped people drowning from the depression. You can drop an email to me anytime(infantinks@gmail.com).

Open Letter to My Bullies

Dearest bud,

I can still recall that weird expression when you have delivered the first time you witnessed me on the interaction day. No, I didn’t approach you or you didn’t me either. But I clearly remember the way you made fun of me because of my brown skin and bizarre looks as back then I didn’t have much exposure to the world. Ever since I became more and more insecure about myself as I had no idea that one’s opinions could impact me so much.

I remember the moans I’ve made in the bathroom after every single day after college. I remember all your laughter when my cheeks were burning as I walked down from class to class. I remember the times you refused to sit to next to me as I’m some “untouchable” thing and unworthy of your space. I didn’t perceive how to communicate to anyone how I was feeling inside. I was crushed, shattered, and devastated. I was drowning in the deep blue sea and there’s no one that would bring a tinge of orange in my life. Yet, I’m flattered that I have grabbed your attention well.

 

Out of all honesty, I am writing this to let you know that you are not the first one that has bullied me and you will not be the last. However, people never realize the words they spit would reach out to a certain level that they are not a reflection of them, it’s the reflection of you, your true colours. You do need to understand that bullying formulates an everlasting psychological impact deep inside the heart. People create tones of memories that etch in the brain endlessly. Despite the mean and deadly things you have done not only to me, I foresee you to realize that the cherishable things in life are not the mean jokes but the bubbles of joy you have splashed in one’s life.

You have taught me how to connect the white dots on my black page. And this is where my story has germinated its seeds. I explored every nook and corner searching for a meaningful path amidst the ruined parts of me. And for many such things, I have a few words for you, thank you for making me strong emotionally and mentally like never before. I commenced seeing my life from a different perspective because of you. Rather than cribbing out, you helped me to look beyond. Because of you, I started questioning my existence. So, thank you for making me who I am now.

Sincerely,

Your bullied child.

 

 

 

I WISH

I wish
It couldn’t have been as flick as drizzle
My bitterness is again radical on a twizzle
I embedded you inflated up in the purple sky
All you have ever arranged is make me cry

I wish
I could get a turn to exhibit how it stings
But you have clipped all my delicate wings
No, I am not attempting to linger away
Cause you just settled me in a big parquet

I wish
I could slay all the shitty memories in mind
But I crave you to know how it’s to be entwined
My little fictional world has been steadily apart
Staring how to mend the state of the dense heart

I wish
I could see the all this drama is a cold-hearted lie
You treated me as just another toy through your eye
I have never been the one to infirmity or complain
Yet, I severely aspire you to persist down the drain.

 

BEING ALONE 

She is sitting alone in the park humming Faded. There’s no one to accompany her today. Even the orange and crimson red shot across the sky is fading away with the darkness surrounding like an ocean deep. She know she existed. But she could sense that the world she had created for herself is gradually crashing down. Few tears struck to her eyelashes and the rest settled down in between the parted lips. She had lost herself. Lost in a big ocean where no one could find her. Night is always the worst to her. A hellish sort of isolation where her only companion is loneliness.

She don’t make friends easily or maybe people don’t like to befriend her. She never know the actual reason. She may be caring and supportive to everyone but she is perfectly okay with the process of not being reciprocated. She is habituated to it, in fact. But all she ever craved is a hand to hold, shoulder to lean, and a soul to depend on. Temporary isn’t something she seek at all. Cause she’s sick of “same old love ” scenario, for the umpteenth time now. In a world full of hmm(‘s)  and k(‘s) she wish to be an endless conversation, for a while at least. 

H.O.P.E

DOUBT. Just a five letter word can create endless ripples in the settled lake like a piercing stone. At days, we doubt our existence. We doubt whether our journey is worth trying or not. Worst, we even doubt why are we alive. With each passing day, the blackness of some memories clouds our thoughts and takes us back to the place we never want to be in. But they only grow louder and louder. We feel like we are drowning and there’s no hand which can pull out from the hurricane.

Let me ask you a simple question, why do you live for? What do you do when everything reverts from what you have expected. Do you give up? No, you won’t. Because you “hope” that there’s a better tomorrow. Whenever you wish you could give up, just listen to what your dreams are whispering in your ears. They will help you to wake up every day with a sheepish smile. Maybe that’s what hope really is, a distant shining star amidst the darkest sky. A star isn’t enough to eradicate the darkness, but enough to realize that there are million other stars somewhere. All you need to find is that “somewhere.”Always keep fighting by ignoring the darkness which is stopping you.

PERIODS! Oh My God 😱

I’m on my period today while scribbling this. It’s day five so I’m rarely bleeding. Wait, how on the seven hells am I assumed to say this out blatant. I’m not supposed to use the words bleed or blood, right? Growing up in a family where I wasn’t allowed to touch anything except the bedsheet which was given to sleep on the floor and the bowls which were given to eat, the thing about menstruation always perplex me. Though we are surviving in this sophisticated world, I’m “untouchable” during my menstruation as I shouldn’t enter the kitchen, I shouldn’t touch my cousins, I shouldn’t sit on the couches and hell, what not. By any chance, if someone touches me, they have to take “the ritual bath” and I’ve to wash their clothes.

I got my first period when I was 14. I was frightened when I saw the blood as I wasn’t taught there’s something called menstruation every girl goes through. I rushed to my aunt crying, maybe I’ve blood cancer, I saw blood when I urinated now. She laughed at me and said, I’m a woman now. Usually, on the third day of periods, they would command to clean whatever has been given those two days and then I should take shower where shampoo is a must not just wetting the hair. Then the lady in the house will splash the turmeric water on the head and will be given a new pair of clothes. Tadaa! Now, I’m touchable and can wander to any room even though I still bleed. This personal story is the substance of many girls in India.

In a world where masturbation and sex are considering as “cool things”, periods are still disgusting to many. Big celebrities can directly advertise the condoms, but sanitary napkins still are explicated by the strange blue fluid. Come on, this is India who doesn’t risk offending the people as ours is so-called traditional country. Being a girl who bleeds every month, the society made me hibernate it behind silence and shame. I knew nothing because my mother, grandmother, teachers and the chaar log aunties who point out everything had told me nothing.

I was trained never to discuss with anyone who has a penis, who don’t know the sense of leaking vagina, who don’t know how it feels wet and sticky down there for a week, who don’t know how much every freaking part of your body aches, and who don’t know why are we screaming at them. I managed to fabricate that stomach pain is because of the improper digestion, the cancellation of a movie plan is because my mom said no, and my lame replies are because of having a bad day. People around me modulated my mind in a way that talking about periods with a man is a characterless thing. I was so wrong. To keep the matter straight, a male friend of mine informed me that, it’s okay to say that you’re on periods.

But, there are some people including the one who bleeds treat women as sickening during menstruation. The saga of menstrual blood isn’t a minute thing as it resembles. There are people who impose themselves on women for sexual intercourse without understanding their pain, there are people who push girls to work even when they cannot, there are people who parody at the premenstrual syndrome, mood swings, and the sudden cravings of food. But dude, are you aware that you and I exist because a woman bleed?

Our beloved educational sector has included the menstruation in the curriculum. But what’s the advantage when that particular chapter is being skipped since ages. How do people conjecture that it’s a biological phenomenon every woman goes through? As long as the people refuse to speak about it, as long as the medical store wraps the sanitary napkins with a newspaper, as long as the teachers teach this chapter separately to boys and girls with all doors closed, we cannot break the taboo blended with menstrual. We need to teach the children that there are sundry notions about periods and it’s not just a “girl thing.” Don’t brush the stereotypes we are inheriting for decades. Always teach them to question – every damn thing.

 

Forever And Always!

Ma, no! I can’t wear this saree. This is so heavy and moreover, all this jewellery, never! She screamed as she was completely suffocated with all these formalities. Ma, will no one marry me if I won’t wear saree? Fine then, I won’t get married. The stern look on her mother’s face made her cease the next word.

Will you please be normal in front of them?

Okaaayyy, she uttered with full of anger!!

After tasting the cuisines arranged and formal introductions… Her mother spoke, I guess you should show him your room now. Then she realized that she forgot to remove her t-shirts and shorts on the bed. She feared this part of the meeting, as, like others, he might say he’s in a relationship with someone or he might deny because of some crappy reasons.

Reluctantly, she took him and showed her room. “This is my room”, she said wearing a smile on her face.

Whoa! This is nice, he said so assuredly. His attention was dragged to the nearby bookshelf. So, do you like reading? he asked.

I writ.. yes, I love reading a lot.

Okay.

Okay.

Minutes are passing, still, no one uttered even a single word. He picks the book on the table “The Fault in our Stars” and blushed inside when he saw the bookmarked page.

“If we are fortunate to marry, would you bring it along?” She was perplexed by his question. “I mean, your collection is great”, he said pointing to the bookshelf. The kid in her started dancing as at least someone likes her choice. She felt so ease within minutes. Both started laughing and sharing things with each other. The time flew by as they talked about their favourite books. Both felt fortunate inside as each has a habit to read.

His phone buzzed which brought them back from the deep conversation and realized that they need to head back.

He stood from the bed and said, “so?

What makes you think I’ll say No?”

“What made you think I’m asking your decision?”

Four cheeks turned crimson red in the white painted room. Both are wishing to talk for some more time, yet again, his phone buzzed. “Alright, actually, you’re looking gorgeous in this saree”, he finally uttered with so many fillers. Butterflies started fluttering, smiling, blushing, dancing in this little butterfly’s tummy. She calmly thanked him with a smile. And thanked her mother a million times in her heart, as she is the one who insisted her to wear it.

“But, I have one condition”.

Her heart sank a bit. The curve on her face drew back as she heard the sound of ‘but’ as she is a writer, and negates the previous statement.

However, with composure, she asked,

“Okay, What is it?”

Pointing to the bookshelf, he said,” I want to have them?”

“Aah! You scared me, stupid”. And immediately, she tucked her tongue between her teeth as she uttered the word ‘stupid’. He just laughed at her juvenile nature. Both got back to their parents who were waiting for them for long. The aura between them convinced both families that they liked each other.

That evening, a text popped on her mobile. “Would you mind if I ask a photograph of yours?”

“Ahaa! Why so?”

“Because you’re beautiful. I enjoy looking at beautiful people, and I decided a while ago not to deny myself the pleasures of enjoying such beauty ;)”

And the two souls became one forever and always ❤

My Paradise

When I glance his eyes for the first time, they were black, yet not soulless. They were like two pristine pebbles of a raven, that illuminate with a purple flare when kissed by a bougie light. One can bask in the warmth of its imminent glow, can soar across those undiscoverable skies and sail to every corner of that seas. Shining like the full moon under a starless sky, deep as the ocean, deep enough to fall in and drown, the eyes were!

The scintillas of twilight might merely a prelude to the dawn. Isn’t it?

Yet its majesty permeates the embracing beryl droplets to the universe which can analog the elegance in his two marbles alone. His eyes are as deep as on old timber, one can wander in them for decades, staring at the branches and swaying fickle in a light summer’s breeze. When he blinks, they flutter like a pair of butterflies descending from the heaven, the trees dancing to the mellifluous sound of the breeze, the crescent moon awaiting for its embrace, the night.

Open Letter To My Best Friend

Dearest Best Friend,

I’m irresolute what I would do without you in my life now. I was truly impressed by your metaphors since the day we’ve assembled on Quora. But, I always bewilder often what I did to deserve you. You have been a consistent backer for me like a peanut butter to my jelly. The thing about you is, you make every person around you better without even apprehending it. The world requires many more people like you. You carried me when I was gloomy and beat down the one who made me sad later. Your love is one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever received.

You believed in me when I don’t even believe myself. I could write a book about the effect you’ve on my life. You know me to my core. You reassure myself whenever my confidence falters. You know what ticks me off and what makes me smile. You pushed me up when I didn’t have a speech and made me take a stand of myself. You get my odd sense of humor and laugh at my terrible jokes. I never had a bad moment with you and I’m sure we will never have. You’re always there for me whenever I need you.  I’m not one who’s enough to bear, but you listened to my every stupid thing. And the vital thing is, you never gave up on me.

 

You change people but you don’t let people change you and don’t ever let them. You bring out the real me and allowed me to be myself without any judgment. You saturate my life with an immense amount of happiness and love. I know that wherever life steers us, you’ll be a part of my life. You’re the one who I naturally think of when I see something stupid happen or want to just babble on and on. You are the epitome of a beautiful human being. I wish, every person on this planet should have someone like you in their lives. You are that real portrait of my ideal best friend even though we never met.

Thank you for being my sidekick in every stupid thing. Thank you for being an individual that I’ve always chased. Thank you for being my inspiration to live my life to the fullest and to never give up on my dreams.  Thank you for allowing me to vent and complain to you constantly. Thank you for always helping me through everything and guiding me in the right direction. Thank you for being my backbone.

With love,

Your Cheeku.

The Drenched Butterfly

The darkening sky was filled with lavender clouds, hiding the first stars of the night. She sat there with her skinny jeans, hugging her knees close to the bosom, letting the inky water and brown sand kiss her toes through her socks. There he was, sitting next to her in the black loose shirt cherishing the beauty of nature. Those two pristine pebbles reflection made even the glittering moon jealous. The waves rolled in, embracing their destiny upon the dawn sands. Two souls were locked to the horizon, feeling the coldness, hearing the rhythmic crashing, tasting the brine as much as smell it.

The soft thunders and the dancing waves are competing with each other with their euphonious rhythm, amidst that bright occasional lightning. It feels to be a musical concert in the whole.

The two introverts are still numb, expecting each other to break the human silence. Nature on another hand is a flow with its extraversion.

A sudden thunder got them back into this planet. And finally, the guy broke the silence and they involved in few random things. It feels like the first drizzle of monsoon when an introvert finds the right company. The curious spotlight finally found its target.

Shall we go? He muttered slowly.

Umm yeah, she said sadly as she doesn’t want to leave the place this soon.

And in a moment, rain fell from the grey sky. The angelic nature seems like writing its own poetry. Each drop resembling a word wasn’t just magical, they are divine. They surrendered under the rainbow shaded umbrella and peeking out the world like sheltered birds watching from the hut. As the downpour was heavy, the umbrella absconded away.

She started shivering and feeling cold. There’s something mystic about the rain, it makes you burst out the love that is unexpressed yet. Tweaking her tee a little to get sufficient grip, he held her in arms closely, to make her feel the warmth. Her face was drenched with the droplets and he couldn’t hold back. She urged herself to push away, but couldn’t.

By moving her face close to his, she fluttered her eyelashes against his. The tiny wet hairs of eyelashes brushed against each other like the tender wings of butterflies flickering in harmony. He could feel the trembling sound of her heartbeat. Her body began to quiver uncontrollably. His head was angled slightly to the side as his lips came closer and closer to hers. Four petals united to form a beautiful flower. The rhythm of her breath is in cacophony with that of his.

The stars were blushing as this isn’t their first scene, they have their own predictions of the end. The shimmering moon shined even brighter in excitement. The thumps of the droplets are adding beautiful background score.

For the first time, their lips were locked together. The world itself ceased to exist and indistinct as a wet painting left out in the torrent that fell from the dark cloud above. They pulled back after having a deep passionate kiss. She was perplexed to find her own lips parted. The moon dimmed itself winking and the stars were staring mischievously at her. As literature has always been a beautiful flower to hover around for these curious bees, this gentle act reminded them of “The Butterfly Kiss” they once read together.

The tags on their social profiles read as introverts, but, their love towards each other proved it wrong by their first kiss. It’s like nature is applauding through the rain pounds as it is the best scene it had witnessed.

13 Reasons Why

 

The inscription itself has hauled your consciousness here. Yes, Jay Asher has flawlessly portrayed how much the environment influences us. Throughout the book, we suspected someone would help Hannah Baker from that hodgepodge. But, if she had clung to her side despite everything, things might have happened differently. Yet, he directed me that I’m the important person in my life and I should never take it for a grant. You or I can’t rewrite the past. If you’re feeling down for any reason conserve this list to evoke yourself just how incredible you are.

    1. You are unique no matter what: This might sound cliche, but that’s the ultimate truth. The thing about humans is, we only focus on the things we couldn’t decipher and forget the things we have already done. Our subconscious might be telegraphed to hold significantly the emotional things. No one has faced the circumstances you did in the past, everyone has their own story. So, stop cribbing that you are just a piece of shit and why someone’s life is better than you.
    2. You are your own best friend: Okay. Stop rolling your eyes now. Remember the time when you’ve decided to accomplish something even when no one believed you and you’ve shown everyone’s so wrong? Yes, who did endure for you then? You! Realize that you’re connected to yourself more than anyone, albeit, you can never be your own enemy. Literally.
    3. ‘Cause you are way remarkable: No one has that potato face like you do. No one has that fingerprint like you do. No one has that same DNA as you. As long as you recall that, you can make a difference on this planet. Period.
    4. There is no “perfect” label: C’mon, don’t knock on it. No one ever stops growing. If there’s someone who presumes he/she is perfect, trust me, they’re deceiving themselves. The point here is, you should be able to identify things that you would love to enhance yourself. And remind yourself that, practice always gives you progress, not perfection.
    5. We all have wicked days: Every human has said at least hello to them, cause this is life after all and it makes us experience all its shades. Some wise man once said aright, we can’t see the stars without darkness. So yes, bad times don’t imply you’re not good enough or you can’t taste the success.
    6. Nothing is worthy of your destruction: Nothing or no one is righteous you thinking less of yourself. If you’re traveling in a direction where people are dragging you down, make a change. Turn out to the other way. Your body model, complexion, family, work, school, or anything in-between shouldn’t make you feel inferior about yourself. Get yourself from that negative circumstances, talk to your friend or seek professional help. Only immature people choose this way. I hope you don’t stand in that cluster.
    7. You cannot please everyone: Don’t be in a contest with everyone else, their notions don’t matter. Stop trying to please others and consume time pleasing you instead. Do whatever you love. At the end, your happiness is all that matters. Isn’t it?
    8. Someone out there is seeking for your hand: Everyone has that one person who desires us to be healthy, happy, and alive as no one is ever alone. We influence the lives of people without our cognizance. You made someone’s day much brighter with your little things. You never know how much you impact others. Often, you have no idea. They might not acknowledge it, but people care about you. Honey, you are someone’s sunshine.
    9. Love yourself to love someone else: The moment you accept the way you are will be the moment you can love others. Don’t grapple with the fact you are not good enough, we are all born with imperfections. When you learn to love your own flaws, you will be able to love others with their flaws as well.
    10. You do have an enthusiasm: Each one of us is passionate about something. The thing is, some realize their passion at 10 and some at 20 or even later. Ask yourself upon which genre I can read 100’s of books?Which work would you love to do even without getting paid? And you don’t have to superstar to be passionate about something. It need not be a moneymaker. But, it makes you feel alive. Go and figure it out.
    11. Because you are one-off: You truly are one of a kind. There is no mark in trying to emulate other people. You are different from everyone else and that also makes you special. Loving yourself introduces you to self-confidence you never thought existed within you. It heightens your self-esteem and you stop depending on others for it.
    12. Stop caring for Sharmaji’s kids: You are well intentional about your intensities and your delicacies, so what others think about you doesn’t matter. When you stop bugging about what others think, your spring levels automatically go down and you can live at your own peace.
    13. You still could resolve not to love yourself. But I suppose you would make a better decision. Because why not? You are incredibly amazing.

Open Letter To My Future Kids

Aye!! Dear munchkins,

I went back and forth quite a few times analyzing to resolve how I should start this letter because there is so much I want to say, but I absolutely have no idea about you at this point of time. I’m just a young adult who is trying to enhance in this world and figure out where I end up. Albeit, I’m young, it’d be slander if I say I never thought about you. I always wonder what your passions will be, how delightful your chuckle will be and what sort of music you will love. I never tried to comprehend how you will look because you’re just so incredible that I can’t even imagine until you crack out from my tummy.

I’m not going to ice the things for you, cause honey, life is tough. It beat you up and sometimes, throw you down to the ground. There will be deadlocks and disagreements. At times, there will be no light at the end, but I promise to be your moon for which I’ll not let you face dusk. When you find yourself in the dirt, don’t look around for someone to pick you up, get up yourself, see how much your little teeth shine amidst it and tell yourself that everything will be alright.

I will be as understanding as I can. But as you’re the product of me (oh yeah! your father also has a role and we discuss it later :P) you might be as stubborn as me. There comes a time, you do the things which I don’t want you to do, but I’ll be with you at the end of the day. I will be there from the day you start your baby steps to the day you walk for your ceremonies. I will fail to meet your expectations sometimes, but I promise you, I never stop trying. I will always try to enhance myself for you and make sure you’re taken care of as you already are so important to me. I will put you before myself and make sure I do everything I can to protect you from the outrages. My parents didn’t show me how vital it’s to open up to their kids and I won’t repeat the same in your case.

So, dear momma’s boy, it’s okay to cry. I don’t wish you to be that strong stud everyone goes gaga over with wondrous eyes, be a man that you would want your daughter to date. Always, take a stand for yourself. Never fall under the reign of high school studs who might drag you down. Go and ask that girl out, chances are she’s waiting for you to come over and I’d love to get sick of your everyday stories how beautiful she is. And mind you, never disrespect any woman as they’re not your mother or sister or girlfriend. Always treat her right.

And dear daddy’s princess, no matter what, your father and you might be on one side of the court. Still, honey, you’re so incredibly beautiful and smart in many ways. You shine so brightly, you don’t need anything else that could possibly dim your light. Don’t wait for an approval that you’re beautiful whether you’re 4 or 14 or 24. Your body is a work of art that is all your own. You’re blessed in a unique way beyond your mind. And in this world of never understanding feminism, don’t take a step and treat any men badly as they’re not your father or brother or boyfriend. Always respect him right.

With all the love I’ve,

Your Future Momma.

 

 

 

Dear Pain!

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Oh my beloved, tell me where should I start? I precisely don’t remember when was the first time I met you? Ah, such an integral born we’ve been sharing. Isn’t it? You clutched all my naiveness and candid demeanour and sprinkled cask of puzzles to solve.

I still remember the time, when a cascade of tears scaled down as I preserved the phizog amidst my knees by imprecating you. I remember the time when I echoed the unspoken words that were drowning myself in perpetual sadness. I remember the time whenever I’m strenuous to overhear the peace of my heart which I always crave for, I’ve only heard the beat which my soul perturbs even more. I remember the time when the sun never seems to shine when I’m tired of feeling beat down, yet I tried with all my might. I remember the time when I just breathe as I’m not braced to perish. I remember the time when the sense of impending calamity giving me sleepless nights. I remember the time when the thunder in my thoughts, despair coursing through my blood and a numbness clouded my eyes. I remember the time when confusion, anger, hate, and shame infiltrate my bones. I remember the time when I forgot the gratitude, crushed the curiosity, and vanished my dreams. Yet, I’m not chastising you for what you’ve done. Rather than making me lose something worth, you started rearing my heart in a staid manner.

You always succeed in keeping your promise of being with me alive all these years. Every move I make, you left your scars in my thoughts and soul. Whenever I stumbled upon by the blockades, when I have no one to rely on, you accompanied me. You slowly, yet steadily injected the essence of solitude in me. And every time, you make me more optimistic person.

I fell down, I moaned, I screamed because of you. Yet, rather than chiding you away, I embraced you for what you’ve done for me. You are there to me when my dear ones left me, when you made me realise that I wasn’t a priority to some people like earlier and when you taught me many life insights. You made me accept the things in life the way they are and making me a bit mature every time.

To precise, thank you so much for always being there with me and making me realise that the hurdles in life are eternal. Thanks for making me potent, not an emotional clown.

My Glee – Your Eye!

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When I catch your luminous first sight

The world apparelled in celestial light;

Two ever gleaming pristine pebbles

Always brings a tornado of bubbles


When I gaze, all my hitches fades away

Makes me fall more and more each day;

Might endure an absurd invisible force

Perpetually coheres my eyes to yours


Beauteous eyes, the biggest, the brightest.

Are like a does roving in the homely forest;

When you flicker, they flutter like butterflies

My heart thumps as an angel with huge uprise


The moment I brush your appealing curve

A chill bouquet rushes through my nerve;

If staring at your emerald crystals is a crime

I love to be the prisoner until the end of time!

Digital – To – Real 

Arjun and Madhu had befall to associate each other through a social networking site. Their infant days of friendship was quite ticklish. But, universe pushed them to be together. And cupid shot them hardly and obviously, they fell in love. Like every other couple, they too had their own chunk of fights, silly arguments, and tones of the love of course. Since they lived distant away from each other in different cities they never stumble upon. 

Arjun is a sweet yet a naughty boy for whom girls go gaga over whereas Madhu is a simple girl who had never been with someone. After months of knowing each other digitally, one day Arjun had come to her place which is in transit to his homeplace without letting her know. It was about 11 in the morning. He texted Madhu. 

Arjun: Hey Panda! :*

Madhu: Hi Teddy :*

Arjun: *sent a picture of famous landmark in her town*

Madhu: *confused* Where are you?

Arjun: Where are you?

Madhu: What’s that question? Where would I be?

Arjun: No, just tell me. 

Madhu: Huh! I’m in my hometown. 

Arjun: Aye! So am I. 

Madhu: What!!! Are you serious? 

Arjun: Why would I be kidding? 

 This surprise visit of her love made her ecstatic inside and started
fantasizing how it’d be like with him. Being an introvert herself, she had her own apprehensions how she would manage as meeting Arjun in person would clearly be a different experience. Finally, they have settled to meet at a coffee shop at 5 in the evening. This was the first time they would both meet alone and see each other in person accurately.

She kept peering at the clock as each hour passed. The shudder in her only enhanced with every minute. After an hour’s combat of what to wear, how to get ready, she picked up a blue and white stripes shirt which Arjun liked earlier. She seemed tender just the way she’s in daily life. She reached out to CCD around 4.45 willfully as she didn’t want to keep Arjun wait for their very first meetup. She opened Wattpad and started reading in the meantime, yet her complete fixate was at the door. After a while, a gentle tap on her shoulder gets her back to the world around. 

Arjun: Madhu? 

She got up and looked at him. There he was finally, the love of her life. Listening to her favorite mellifluous tone,  her heart melted again. He was tall, charming, light bearded, and man, those dazzling eyes over a genial smile. He was wearing a blue checks shirt which completely complimented his skin. She was totally amazed by his eye-catching personality.

 
Arjun: Well, Mom always said the truth that I’m the most handsome boy on this planet. See, even you can’t cease staring at me *wink*
She bit her lip because of the embarrassment and said hi with a smooth smile. He came and sat next to her. His fluffy arms brushed against her and a chill rush through every single cell of hers which made her completely hesitant. She ordered their preferences and were waiting to be served. He relishes her anger to an extent. So, he prepared his script as he would like to cherish in the real world too. 

Arjun: You know what, you’re really tall. 

Her calm face became like an angry Pikachu and punched him slightly in his little tummy. 

Arjun: Damn, you’re quite dominating baby *smirk*

Madhu: Oh reall…

A soft noise on the table kept a full stop to their silly argument. He started having coffee, but Madhu was trying not to make eye contact and watching everywhere else. 

Arjun: What are you waiting for? Oh wait, you want me to feed you? 

Madhu(laughing): Eww, shut up Arjun. It’s.. It’s just too hot. 

Arjun laughed too. And the silence again occupied their place. 

Madhu: Umm…Say something

Arjun: Oye, I’m the one who has been blabbering all the time. 

Madhu: Still

Arjun: Ummm okay. You know about this fuzzy logic? 

Madhu: No. Never heard the term either. 

Arjun: Let me explain, it’s an approach based on the degree of truth. You know, it’s merely employed to handle the partial truth and… I know, I’m boring you, but I have to show off some knowledge I possess know *wink*

She burst out the laughter. They talked about some random things and forgot that the night has been dawned. 

Madhu: Shall we go for a walk, if you don’t mind?
 
Arjun: Yes sure, why not? 

Madhu: I love this place so much especially for its serenity. 

He was looking around for something and didn’t listen to what she was saying.
 
Madhu: Arjun? What happened? 

Arjun: Ummm, I was looking for a wine store. Is there any?

Madhu: Yeah, at the corner of this road. But why? 

Arjun( with a serious tone): For what else? Beer. 

Madhu: Arjun, please be nice to me. 

Arjun: That’s why I call you a kid. 

Her hands started trembling. She was frozen in terror. She was known as a 90’s girl, but, didn’t expect Arjun to say this. As Arjun know how to pull her leg, he looked even more serious. But in a moment on observing the fear on her face, he just laughed out. I actually wanted a medical store for strepcils. 

Madhu: Just get lost, Arjun. You scared the hell out of me. Don’t talk with me. 

Arjun(chuckling): I’m sorry Madhu. Forgive me. 

She stood there firmly not agreeing to anything like a stubborn child. But this gentleman knows how to win her doll. 

Arjun: Alright, I’ll buy you gems for this. And trust me, I won’t steal blue ones. Okay?

She started laughing and said, okay. They started walking again talking random things. All of sudden, Arjun came towards her right. She was touched by this gentle gesture. 

Arjun: Let me be the macho for my lady. *wink*

She just blushed. But deep in her heart, she knew she was falling head over heels for him again. They started creating memories again and were completely indulged in their world. But, the moment came where they have to say bye. Tears started flooding on her cheeks. 

Madhu: You surely have to leave now? 

Arjun: I too don’t want to, but I have to ma. 

Madhu: Umm yeah, sorry. 

Arjun: Shut up idiot. 

He wiped her tears and hugged her tight. See, this is your very first date and that too with the most elegant man in this planet. Isn’t it? 

Madhu(with teary eyes): Yes, I hope my last date will also be with you. 

Arjun: Will surely be. On my deathbed. 

Madhu: Shut up Arjun. Don’t say such things. This is one of the best days of my life. 

Arjun(patting his shoulder): Well done soldier, well done. 

Madhu(laughing): What are you doing, Arjun?

Arjun: As you didn’t praise, I’m doing it myself. *smirk*

Madhu: Hahah I love you so much, Arjun.

Arjun: Love you a lot, Madhu. 

By planting a gentle kiss on her forehead, they hung up with a warm feeling in their souls. 

We, the Women.

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We, the women. 
We were watched how we bent down

We were assaulted when no one’s uptown

We, the women.

We were criticized when the bra strap appear 

We wonder when it won’t be a bug in one’s ear
We, the women. 

We were using books to cover our cleave

We merely know to what extent it just peeve
We, the women.

We were warned by ancestors not to chastise (but) 

We were crucified by those eager and hungry eyes
We, the women.

We were angels since we hit the adolescence ‎

We were beauty only for that solemn essence
We the women. 

 We were told to “whisper” the product “stayfree”

We often bewildered why only we are a lessee.